Cheesus Chrust

Whatcha want, bro o.O?   Whelp.. I'm Danielle. I'm 19 and a college sophomore. I am an EMT-B and applying for a Paramedic program not to far from me. Okay. I'm done.

seabelle:

I can’t stand these fucking people with these fucking family window stickers on their cars a murderer is gonna come into your fucking house and you’re gonna try to hide your kids in the fucking closet and he’s gonna be like naw bitch I saw your fucking mini van I know you have six more kids where are they

(via narryoween)

— 1 day ago with 72141 notes

she definitely named her daughter with this joke in mind and waited patiently for years for the chance to finally make it

(Source: oxnam, via full-monty)

— 1 day ago with 456635 notes
holybazookas:

The most honest “do not enter” sign of all time.

holybazookas:

The most honest “do not enter” sign of all time.

(via full-monty)

— 1 day ago with 695 notes
condomdepot:

m-a-d-i-s-o-n1:

lol this is true…

Exactly our thought! Protect yourself!

condomdepot:

m-a-d-i-s-o-n1:

lol this is true…

Exactly our thought! Protect yourself!

— 1 day ago with 523 notes
anyth1ng3ut0rdin4ry:

I have an idea son, why don’t we drive to the nearest cliff and see if the law of gravity applies to you.

anyth1ng3ut0rdin4ry:

I have an idea son, why don’t we drive to the nearest cliff and see if the law of gravity applies to you.

(via ruinedchildhood)

— 1 day ago with 305510 notes

cactusluv:

cactusluv:

*breaks fingers* let’s do this

I MEANT “CRACKS KNUCKLES” HOLY SHIT

(via nebranska)

— 1 day ago with 31985 notes
"Marry someone who can make you laugh in public and scream in bed."
Me giving my friend relationship advice (via sexual-feelings)

(Source: dafunnyposts, via full-monty)

— 1 day ago with 292311 notes

wild-guy:

Kelly Rowland texting Nelly via Microsoft Excel and then getting annoyed when he doesn’t text back.

(via kingsleyyy)

— 1 day ago with 229925 notes

smoke-me-up:

bobsavage:

Capitalism.

I kind of want to cry

(Source: sizvideos, via full-monty)

— 1 day ago with 193941 notes

wailtothethief:

Fuck I’m walking downtown and I pass a group of guys staring at me and I think “great catcall time” but then one guy goes “you look like you could kill a man a million different ways with just your bare hands”. This. This is an acceptable comment to give a girl on the street.

(via full-monty)

— 1 day ago with 150338 notes